UNCERTAINTY

UNCERTAINTY

On my way home from a work one night, I took the jeepney as always.
I was only the passenger.
And I immediately noticed that occupying the front seat were the driver,
his wife and three children.
It was the first time I saw a driver bring his entire family with him.What really
caught my attention was the driver's mood.It was around 8:30 pm and passengers
seem so hard to find .I heard the driver sigh:
"Haaay...buhay...pag inaalat ka naman(Life really sucks when you run out of luck)."
Then his oldest son,who was seated beside him,repeated his the exact same words.
At the age of 7 or 8 years,he already seemed to understand
the meaning of those words,if the conviction he put behind them
was anything to go by.

Then it struck me:How does an 8 year old react to situation like this?
Does he fret that there wont be enough KITA (income) for his father to buy
enough food on the table for the entire family or an extra toy or shirt?
Or does he just accept it as a fact of life like an adult?And how does a family
of five survive on the meager income of a jeepney driver who only
gets to take home what is left of his earnings after the boundary and
the expenses of gasoline are deducted.I began to wonder:
Is this the right environment to raise a child?Is it all right to expose him
to the harsh realities
of poverty?


I can consider ourselves lucky by normal standards.I have a steady income.
We're not rich. but we are all healthy.And we owe nobody some money.
But still there are times when I get frustrated.There are times when I feel
I'm not earning enough, or I can not save enough from what I earn.
There are moments when. like the driver and his family.
I feel that Ladyluck is not on my side.In times like these,my children
and I would start our endless discussion about migrating and working abroad.
My parents are already there,but we have to wait 15 years
before we can join them legally if we bank on their petition.
That's too long a wait for us.


But I think the real reason we want to leave is that I don't want
my children to be exposed to the kind of environment in which we are living now.
I dont want them to see poverty and what it does to families,
and how it debases the children.Street children have to knock on car
windows begging for money.I don't want them to see fathers,mothers
and children sniffing rugby in open daylight for everyone to see.
Children forced to sell sampaguitas(flower jasmine) or rags on the street.
Children who instead of studying in school or playing in the shade,
must try to earn a living under the heat of sun or drenched by pouring rain.


Like any parent,I want what is best for my children.
And that meansfirst of all,living in country which takes care of its people.
I want them to grow in an environment where people matter more than anything.
I want them to grow imbibing the values of honesty integrity and discipline.
Of course they can be taught this at home .But realities is out there.
I can't control what they will see and hear outside our home.
And with that kind of society.I don't feel I can
expose them to real world.

I have always dreamed about this country becoming great someday.
I've always pictured myself growing old here and waiting to see it happen.
Most of my friends have gone to foreign lands with their families.
But as much as I want to jump on the bandwagon something always
hold me back.I don't want to give up my hopes for my country.
I still want to do my part as a citizen of this land.

I want my children to grow a Filipino in heart and mind.
Someday my children will make a difference in this society.
When I looked at my children's eyes. I see a brighter future
and a whole new world of opportunities.