Moving beyond what we are so used to.
You know in your heart that it’s time.
The desire to move on eats you up inside.
Gathering the strength and motivation to make that a desire a reality is hard.
Moving beyond what we have always surrounded ourselves with is tough.
Life is spread out before us.
It waits for us to reach out our fingertips and grasp it.
It calls our souls to take the leap, leap of faith and trust.
It begs us to swallow our fear of the unknown and the undiscovered.
It’s song plays in our minds, tempting us, yet taunting us at the same time.
It’s hard, so very hard, to move on to something better, even if that something means that something will bring us peace.
We fear what may or may not be.
We fear moving to another level and finding ourselves alone.
Being alone is one of our greatest fears.
It is the fear that most people willingly accept.
It’s not unusual to feel that way.
The thought of taking the next step in life makes your heart jump in your chest.
It fills you with excitement, as you imagine how sweet life would be, if you find yourself moving on.
If fills you with feelings of melancholy floating effortlessly through your soul.
You think back and remember.
The events of your life, whether good or bad, come rushing toward you.
One by one, you relive the moments.
You laugh, you cry, you smile, as these waves of memories flood your thoughts.
Feelings of regret may singe your soul, regret at the things that never happened or regret over the way they have happened.
When you reach the point in your life to move on, from whatever plateau you are standing upon now, you have reached a point in your life where you need a change.
Change is scary, yet exciting at the same time.
Some of us make the change easily and without fear, but some, like myself, quake at the thought of moving on.
Creatures of habit are what I would call the fearful ones.
We spend all of our lives afraid of taking the step.
We become used to and accustomed to the pain, hurt or the monotony of life.
We go through the motions and those motions become who we are.
Do you think the chance at happiness or peace is worth swallowing the fears that eat us up inside, so we may move on?
I think so.
Can we do it though?
Can the dark thoughts of being alone be banished from the recesses of our minds, so we may find the courage?
I think if we all tell ourselves and believe in this thought, we can do it.
We are never alone, not as long as we embrace the ones that we hold in our hearts.
We are never alone if we have friends that we can go to for comfort and support.
Shoulders were made for tears.
Mouths were made for words of comfort, love and for smiles.
I think those things can help us find the courage within ourselves to reach out and touch the life that awaits us.
We were put here on this beautiful Earth to enjoy life and each other.
I wish we, me included, didn’t fear it like we do.
I dare you... reach out and grasp life, even if it means you must move on from the plateau you are at now.
Climb higher and reach the next level.
Life would not be real
without the lessons
without the experiences
and without the special people
to share life with...
Friday, March 21, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Solitude is something we sometimes crave.
I am craving that now.
It’s not because I feel overwhelmed in my life,
because I don’t.
I suppose I need a quiet space and unlimited amount
of time to sort out my thoughts, sort out my feelings.
I usually reach a point where I crave it like a person
would crave to satisfy their addiction.
I need to satisfy my need, my desire, my craving.
My mind is a jumbled mess inside.
There is so much to think about, yet they are thoughts
that I wish to hide away. It’s hard facing reality sometimes.
The harsh realities of life need to be confronted,
but sometimes they bring with them so much pain.
My place of solitude and the place I crave the most is the beach.
I close my eyes and I can hear the waves crashing
against the shore. I can feel the sun beaming down on my face,
spreading warmth throughout my body. The sand would be
squishing between my toes and the ocean breeze would be
blowing against my face.
All of life’s answers are lying in the vast ocean.
I believe that.
With the ocean’s breeze comes peace and serenity.
You can smell it blowing off the water’s surface.
You can smell it in the air. It’s within your grasp.
All you have to do is empty your mind and inhale deeply.
Cleanse your soul with the salty air and let it refresh you.
I need that, even at the expense of feeling pain and
at the expense of my tears. I crave the solitude,
even if it’s for a short period of time.
I seem to crave it most when I need someone
the most. I don’t know why.
During the times when I crave a hug, a human touch,
I withdraw inside of myself.
I suppose I am too proud or ashamed to admit that
I may have a weakness, even if it is a weakness we all experience.
I crave human touch now.
A loving touch.
A lap to lie my head upon.
To feel taken care of.
It’s all so silly.
Monday, February 25, 2008
A tribute to the classic art of Fernando Amorsolo, the powerful filipino song, Bayan ko, and the timeless artist, Kuh Ledesma.
The song is taken from Kuh's newest album, K. It is a precious collection of filipino songs given a neo-ethnic sound through the expertise of Bob Aves. This album is The Philippines' proud contribution to World Music.
Though the song may promote nationalism, let us not forget that we are all ONE. Let this be a celebration of the beauty of diversity and uniqueness. Any thing unique, we value. Any thing we value, we lovingly accept.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
d’ greatest battle…
The greatest battle we ever fought - The battle of LOVE - that cannot be ours. No matter how strong our shield or how sharp our sword. The bleeding cannot be prevented nor the pain will never be concealed. For the wound of the body can be healed but the wound of the heart will forever leave a scar that will remind us of a battle we never WON.
what are some things we do in the name of LOVE??? ;)
- how we are always there when they needed us and takes care of everything they need
- how we laugh at their silliest jokes and smiled at their littlest compliments
- how we try to make them laugh when they are sad
- how we let them kiss us without asking and hug them back so tightly as if we can keep them
- how we let them stay without knowing till when they are going to stay
- how we stumble and fall
but though we do all these things for LOVE–sadly to say, its always never ENOUGH!!!
Friday, February 15, 2008
"My Life Without Me" Yan ang kasalukuyang stage ng buhay ko ngayon… parang tipong living dead ika nga ng marami. Nararamdaman kong, ang pag-iral ko ngayon ay bunga lamang ng hangaring magpatuloy upang maranasan ang muling pagkabuhay.
Matagal na akong patay, siguro dalawampung taon na ang nakalilipas nang unti-unting iwanan ako ng aking sarili. Simula nang mamulat ako sa katotohanan ng buhay at nagkaroon ng mga responsibilidad na idinikta ng lipunang kinalakihan.
Nag-aral at pumasok sa eskwela upang magkaroon ng karunungang nararapat para sa isang babaeng lumalaki o nagdadalaga, nakihalubilo sa mga taong unti-unti ring namamatay, nangarap katulad ng tipikal na pangarap ng marami, ang makatapos sa pag-aaral, magkaroon ng magandang career, magkaroon ng magandang hanap-buhay, magkapamilya, yumaman, maging marangya, bumili ng mga naisin, magkaroon ng mga material na bagay na hinahangad din ng karamihan.
Lumigaya? Hindi ko alam… sapagkat ang mga panandaliang kaligayang nararanasan ko sa ngayon ay mababaw, hindi tumitiim at kayang burahin kaagad-agad ng mga mababaw at tipikal na problemang kinakaharap din ng mga katulad ko.
Sa gitna ng pagiging paslit o isang uugod-ugod na matanda ay kawalan… namuhay tayong parang mga patay o manikang de makina na pinapatakbo lamang ng hangaring mai-ahon ang pang-araw araw na buhay, yung tipong “just for the sake of survival”. Walang kahulugan, walang patutunguhan, mababaw, at mabilis ang pagdaan ng mga araw na halos paulit-ulit lang.
Alam ko, matagal pa bago ko muling maranasan ang “mabuhay” katulad ng mga batang paslit, na walang paki-alam at hindi apektado sa kababawan ng mga matatandang nakapaligid sa kanila. Kung maari ko lamang ibalik ang nakraan, napakasarap maging bata… ang maging totoo, inosente at makatikim ng totoong kaligayahan o ang makaranas ng totoong pait.
Sabi nga ng isang kaibigan, tayo ay nabuhay lamang ng totoo noong tayo ay mga batang paslit lamang at muling manunumbalik ito kapag tayo ay matandang ugod-ugod na, nakaupo sa duyan o tumba-tumba habang sinasariwa ang mga nakaraan at muling tinitimbang ang mga desisyon at mga karanasan bilang isang tao. Minsan ay mapapangiti tayo, o mapapaluha sa ating pagbabalik tanaw. Subalit mas mararamdaman natin ang pag-inog ng mundo, ang tibok ng ating puso, ang malalalim na buntunghininga, maging ang damyo ng hangin sa ating mga pisngi.
At handa kong hintayin ang mga sandaling iyun gaano man katagal, o ilang raw at taon mang paulit-ulit at walang kahulugan ang aking maranasan. Sa ngayon ihahanda ko na muna ang duyan o ang tumba-tumbang uupuan ko para sa pagdating ng panahong iyun.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
When I come near you I don’t talk much.
When you speak to me, I secretly hoard the air
that comes out of you, and feel every second
that it stays in me.
I know it's pretty crazy.
But deep within my soul I yearn that someday you
yourself will force that air that comes out of you into me,
through my lips, in blissful exchange.
However, I’m aware that it’s just wishful thinking,
because you are already engaged. And happy.
It’s just really sad that things go the way they are.
The way they have to be.
Perhaps, even just one kiss before I leave
would make all the difference in my life.
Just that kiss...
Even without you.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my
head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely
goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days
of my life: and I will dwell in the house of
the Lord forever.
A Psalm Of David