Solitude is something we sometimes crave.
I am craving that now.
It’s not because I feel overwhelmed in my life,
because I don’t.
I suppose I need a quiet space and unlimited amount
of time to sort out my thoughts, sort out my feelings.
I usually reach a point where I crave it like a person
would crave to satisfy their addiction.
I need to satisfy my need, my desire, my craving.
My mind is a jumbled mess inside.
There is so much to think about, yet they are thoughts
that I wish to hide away. It’s hard facing reality sometimes.
The harsh realities of life need to be confronted,
but sometimes they bring with them so much pain.
My place of solitude and the place I crave the most is the beach.
I close my eyes and I can hear the waves crashing
against the shore. I can feel the sun beaming down on my face,
spreading warmth throughout my body. The sand would be
squishing between my toes and the ocean breeze would be
blowing against my face.
All of life’s answers are lying in the vast ocean.
I believe that.
With the ocean’s breeze comes peace and serenity.
You can smell it blowing off the water’s surface.
You can smell it in the air. It’s within your grasp.
All you have to do is empty your mind and inhale deeply.
Cleanse your soul with the salty air and let it refresh you.
I need that, even at the expense of feeling pain and
at the expense of my tears. I crave the solitude,
even if it’s for a short period of time.
I seem to crave it most when I need someone
the most. I don’t know why.
During the times when I crave a hug, a human touch,
I withdraw inside of myself.
I suppose I am too proud or ashamed to admit that
I may have a weakness, even if it is a weakness we all experience.
I crave human touch now.
A loving touch.
A lap to lie my head upon.
To feel taken care of.
It’s all so silly.